Song: “Planet of Weed” by Fountains of Wayne from Traffic and Weather

Dear Mr. Fernandez,

Thank you so much for your rather lengthy paper. We have no doubt you intended it earnestly as a scientific work. Unfortunately, it is not something we can publish in our journal.

For one, simply asserting the existence of something, in this case the so-called “TokeSphere, the Planet of Weed,” does not constitute good scientific rigor. You presented no documentable evidence. If you had some kinds of photos, videos, physical evidence, even an experiment proving the possibility of such a place, perhaps it would be different. Alas, you have given us no such materials.

Additionally, regarding this planet, it is unclear if it is intended to be a real location or more of a state of mind. If the former, we have discussed the issues above with publishing such a paper. If the latter, the issues would be even more significant. Simply put, we do not publish papers of philosophy. Perhaps one of those “soft science” journals might but we employ a bit more rigor here in the realm of real hard science.

I will admit your paper created considerable excitement in our offices. Many of my colleagues were intrigued by your ideas and very anxious to learn more of about TokeSphere. Again, however, excitement is not enough, in and of itself, to justify the publishing of a paper in our journal.

If you are able to gather more data, please do feel free to revise and resubmit. Also, if you have the number of Slim Smoothtalker, your guide to said celestial object, many of us would very much like to make his acquittance.

Good luck in your future endeavors

Gunner Masterson

Editor In Chief, Journal of Exploratory Astronomy