Song: “Making the Most of the Night” by Jepsen, Carly Rae from Emotion

Itinerary

9:30 PM: Pick up Roger at home. Refuse any attempts to stay home, “just take it easy.”

9:45 PM: Gently chide Roger for being such a stick in the mud.

9:46 PM: Throw off the convertible roof, let it tumble away down the road, gone forever.

9:47 PM: Let go of the wheel and jump up on the seat. Howl at the moon.

9:51 PM: Regain control of the vehicle.

9:53 PM: When Roger stops swearing, take his hand and press to his chest. Tell him to feel his heartbeat. Remind him this is living.

9:54 PM: Press his hand to my chest. Ask him to feel my heartbeat.

9:55 PM: Make a joke about him feeling me up. Laugh at his blushing.

10:02 PM: Place the tape of that band I love into my custom tape player. Turn it up! Tell him it’ll change his life. Watch his eye grow wide as the music does just that!

10:35 PM: Leave the car in the middle of the road where it runs out of gas. Light it on fire. Tell him it’s fine. It’s a lesson in impermanence and not being owned by what we own. Plus, fire is sexy.

10:48 PM: Walk him to the beach. Get in a tickle fight with him. When things start to feel… frisky, extract myself. Get naked and run into the surf. Call for him to do the same.

11:05 PM: After lots of excuses, he finally does. Roger is surprisingly ripped!

11:19 PM: The cops show up just as we’re about to kiss. We leave our clothes on the beach and race into the backyard of another house. We take the clothes off the line and get dressed. They fit perfectly. He never wonders why.

11:36 PM: We get to the quirky all-night restaurant where drag queens, motorcycles gangs, and a Christian choir group just passing through are all eating. Tensions are high but start to sing “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel and everyone joins in. We’re all best friends now!

11:51 PM: Order so much food! I’m a girl who eats! He’ll love that!

12:25 AM: Remember all our money is back in our clothes. Dine and ditch!

12:40 AM: The cops took our clothes. Guess we’ve gotta get ‘em back!

1:07 AM: I flash the cops to distract them. Roger peeks. Such a naughty boy! He still gets our clothes though.

1:12 AM: I pick the lock at the impound lot. Then I hotwire the classic cherry Mustang. Stealing cars is easy!

3:09 AM: Arrive at the cemetery where my parents are buried. Relate how their deaths taught me to really live. He sees my tear and kisses me. It’s gentle at first but then…ooo! Turns out his abs aren’t the only think that’s cut. OMG! I’m so dirty!

3:15 AM: It starts to rain. We don’t care. We make love against the wall of a masoleum. Neither of us will ever be the same.

4:26 AM: We dozed off. Our bed (graveyard?) head is so adorable. We laugh and take a naked selfie!

4:53 AM: The liquor store is closed so I break the window with a brick. Grab a bottle of champagne. Cops totally drive right by us with no clue as we drive away from the crime.

5:13 AM: Pull of the road at this open meadow. Drink champage and watch the sun rise. Roger tells me he loves me. I say, “I know.” Guys love that movie.

5:33 AM: Oops! Sex on public property again!

6:00 AM: Roger remembers it is the day of the big presentation. Uh-oh!

8:21 AM: At the parking lot at Roger’s office. He notices the hickeys. Oh well, too late presentation starts in nine minutes.

8:23 AM: Find the janitor’s closet. I hose him down and steal some other guy’s back up suit while Roger dries off.

8:30 AM: Roger starts his presentation. The computer isn’t working so he does it off his head. He even sings!

9: 34 AM: Everyone is clapping. Roger nailed his presentation. I blow him a kiss and he blushes. When he looks away, I slip out. He’ll miss me for a little while maybe but I’m sure he’ll be fine. Now that he know how to live.

10:00 AM: Ditch the Mustang. Dye my hair in a gas station bathroom. Hitch a ride with some old guy. At a light, I chloroform and dump him at a convenience store. Onto the next town and the next stick in the mud so I can teach him to live.