Song: “Harvest Breed” by Drake, Nick from Pink Moon
(Picture taken from http://www.skydive-maryland.com/)
These were my thoughts, in chronological order, as I plummeted towards the ground, sure I would die.
1.) I knew this sky diving thing was a dumb idea.
2.) You know what else is dumb? Reggaetton. Like exceptionally so.
3.) No one knows the password to my computer. I should’ve written down somewhere for someone to find.
4.) I really wish I got to see the Cubs win a World Series. I mean, they aren’t my team or anything, but it would’ve been cool.
5.) Not as cool as seeing Jenny Klein’s breasts when I slept over her house for her younger brother’s 13th birthday party. I’m not sure anything will ever be that cool.
6.) I wonder what Jenny’s up to now. Three years is no big deal in your twenties and I bet she’s still hot.
7.) God, did Sally stop being hot though. Wow. Drugs do not do wonders for everyone I suppose.
8.) I shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain, especially right now.
9.) Six women by age 26 is decent right? I recognize I’m no sexual athlete with numbers like that, but still pretty good, right?
10.) I really should have slept with more women. Like a lot more. I realize that now.
11.) I probably should’ve slept with a guy or two, too. Just to try it out.
12.) I can’t believe Johnny Philips turned out not to be gay. We were all so sure.
13.) I can’t believe Todd French is gay. I don’t know why, but I just never would’ve expected it.
14.) Sky diving was such a dumb idea!
15.) I should do something cool when I hit the ground. Like have my middle fingers up.
16.) Or something less confrontational. Maybe thumbs up?
17.) I got it! West Side! Classic!
And then my emergency shoot opened and I survived. Which is good. But throwing up West Side would’ve been pretty amazing.