Letter: D

CD Number: 3

Track Number: 28

Song: “Halloween” by Dave Matthews Band off the album Before These Crowded Streets

Listen to it here

Dear Diary,

It happened again today. It was a normal night. Actually, it was better than normal. I was making good time, enjoying the work. Like it used to be. I was feeling good…like I was doing the work I was put on this earth to do. To be perfectly honest, I was feeling in the Zone. I know I mock it when Runder says it, but I’m just being real here. There is a Zone. I had located it. I was dwelling in it.

So I was feeling confident and I figured, “why not.” This was it. This was the night. I was going to close on the Britney Kellerman deal. She made a fool out of me a few times, I’ll admit it. When I run into some of the guys, they love to hear those stories. They get such a kick out of it. They’re like me, before...everything. I mean, I’ll admit, I though she’d be an easy completion. She was so tiny and girly. Those big eyes, the pigtails…I figured there was no way. I could roll three of her in a night.

But I was wrong and so are they. Britney is no pushover, no easy mark. She’s tough as nails! Mean spirited as anyone I’ve ever encountered. She didn’t just shut me out, she toyed with me. Tortured me, frankly. Every time I thought I was sealing the deal, she was just letting me believe it so it would be more fun for her to make me take it on the chin again.

But tonight…I knew I had this. Or I thought I did. I was too full of confidence, too convinced of my abilities. I was probably missing easy signs warning me, all over the place. I wasn’t only thinking with my wounded ego though. I was completely ignoring my head, my heart, or my guts. I am sure one of them would have let me know I was stepping into another disaster.

When I get there, she was already asleep. That was the perfect time to just walk away. I had had a good night. It’s not like I needed another conquest on my list. I could live off my scores from this night for months, truth be told. That’s how much I was cleaning up earlier.

Of course I didn’t just stop though. This was night, after all. I was I the Zone! Britney was about to recognized my dominance, to accept my will.

Actually, I was just stupid. So very stupid.

I set about to make some noise in the room to awaken her. You know the approach. A rustle here, a scraping there. She did not stir, so I drew closer and repeated. Still nothing. And suddenly, I became aware that I could not hear her breathe. I became worried so I rushed to her bed. It could not end like this. But I had been duped!

On her bed, gathered underneath the sheet, was not Britney, but a doll. Panic poured into my veins and I could feel my heart beating between my ears. It was a setup!

I was not done yet, though, I tried to tell myself. Just find an exit route. Under the bed. But, no, she had one of those beds with shelves underneath. No escape there.

The window, then. Pedestrian, sure. Hardly worthy of someone in my craft. But I was desperate and anything would do in a pinch. But it was locked and with adrenaline and, yes, I’ll admit, fears controlling my every move, my claws were simply shaking too much to get the latch.

The closet was my last shot. I turned towards it, convinced that sweet freedom was mere moments away. But then, I heard it. The single most terrifying sound I know. Britney’s giggle. It seemed to come from everywhere. It was as though the walls, the floor, and the ceiling were all laughing. I froze. God help me, I froze. Then the closet doors burst open and she strolled in, smirk on her face. A small galling smirk. For a moment, I entertained the notion that I could still win. This was not lost. But I was being fanciful. She had me beat the moment I even thought of stopping by again.

She opened up on me with everything at once. Rainbows and unicorns and princesses. Pirates and soccer balls and dinosaurs. She even threw in a little music for good measure. I was on my knees in no time, head filled with marshmallow. So hard to think, could barely see. If I could’ve processed anything, I’m certain I would have felt that this was the moment of my death.

But she was not done. Oh no. Cruel opponent that she was, she saved her worst for last. She allowed me a moment to catch my breath. My mind began to clear. I started to feel my legs again. Then, she giggled once more and clapped her hands. BLAM! The lights in her room exploded to life around me. Never has a ceiling fan been so bright.

I screamed. I’m certain I did. I retched…I know that for sure. All was pain. And behind it all, that signature giggle. So quiet. So sinister.

Somehow I stumbled into the closet and back into my world. To here. To you, my journal, the only thing I can tell this to. Tell of yet another defeat at the hands of Britney Kellerman. The fiercest eight year old I have ever known. Britney Kellerman, the destroyer of monsters.

So, what do you think? Enjoy it? If so, feel free to follow me on Twitter (@UnGajje) for various bon mots and links directing you to the newest updates on this site as well as my other various writing gigs (Marvel, Complaint of the Week at the Living Room Times, and New Paris Press, set to debut shortly although information may be available before then here). If not it was not so enjoyable for you, feel free to tell me that too. And still check me out at all those things above. One of them you are bound to like more.

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