Now that SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME has opened, it is time to indulge in one of my favorite ridiculous pastimes: costume ranking! That’s right, it has come time to rank all the Spider-Man live action cinematic costumes from the time of Raimi forward!

Spider-Verse costumes have been omitted as they are animated and thus do not face the same physics and such. But rest assured, Noir, Miles’ Suit, and Spider-Gwen would be very well ranked!

All right, now counting down from worst to best, here we go!

Spidey showing dem gains! (Image from Sony Pictures)

10. The Alien Costume

Given how great the SPIDER-MAN films realized the classic spider-suit, this one was a huge disappointment. Classic suit but black looked fine on-screen but the lack of effort just bums me out.

Sorry Andrew! Don’t take it personal! (Image from Sony Pictures)

9. The Return to Classicism

This suit from AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 is good and classic. But it also represents a retreat from trying to be different from top to bottom. ASM2 turned out pretty badly but this was the first hint for me that they were making a movie on their heels, trying to appease rather than create. In a vacuum, this ranks high. But this isn’t a vacuum so I have to rank it in context.

Seriously. FAR FROM HOME did this suit dirty. (Image from Marvel Films)

8. The Iron Spider

Similar to above, I wish they went more towards the comic book color scheme/look. More the problem is, though, I suspect, is it looks kind of like shimmery paper in FAR FROM HOME. It was the one disappointment in that movie I had. If I was ranking these after ENDGAME, I suspect it would go higher.

Airbrushing should make a comeback. (Image from Sony Pictures)

7. Homemade Wrestling Togs

It’s fine. Good even. Maybe I just link it too closely to the weird bit of homophobia in the scene, the most dated part of Raimi’s SPIDER-MAN films. I don’t love the spider web pattern on the front of the costume either. Feels too costume department, I guess, considering how (wonderfully) slapdash the rest is.

This is how I used to dress for roller blading. (Image from Marvel Films)

6. The Stealth Suit

I wanted to like this more than I did. I think me expecting a version of the Noir costume which is all black but still feels distinctive hurt this suit. It just felt a little generic to me in practice. It is kind of a “so close to awesome” effort that I am probably judging too harshly.

Ever see that animated movie 9? This reminds me of that for some reason. (Image from Marvel Films)

5. Friendly Neighborhood Homemade Suit

I love it! It feels SO perfectly homemade. The googles strike me as really cool and a nice half measure towards the opaque eyes of the “real” costume. And it kind of evokes Scarlet Spider’s comics costume and I am just never going to be mad about that.

I’m not joking about liking this suit! (Image from Sony Pictures)

4. The “Basketball” Costume

There are like eight people on earth that think the team behind AMAZING SPIDER-MAN made the right choice with this costume. Darker in color scheme and rubberized in appearance (hence its nickname) it evokes the classic Spider-suit without just being a pale shadow of the original. As soon as the decision was made to make AMAZING another origin story, albeit one that was supposed to be more about Peter’s parents, it was already an uphill battle to be anything more than Raimi-lite. This costume is one of the few choices that was definitively different in a way that I still think really worked.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (image from Marvel Films)

3. The Wing Suit

FAR FROM HOME’s final suit, beyond the use of black (or is it dark blue?), is only subtly different than the “Tiny Spider” edition. The changes it makes, though, are pretty cool. I especially like the slight alteration in the shoulders and sides to create new more definite lines in those areas. The very white spider on the back really pops nicely too. I’m basically only ranking it lower because I’m a bit of traditionalist re: the costume coolers.

Remember how incredible this moment was? (Image from Marvel Films)

2. The Tiny Spider

In some ways more impressive then #1 (really fabric, no raised webbing, etc) it lose points for that darn spider. It’s just too small. I know that’s super petty, but whatever. When you have some great costumes to rank, petty is necessary. I do adore those shuttering eyes though.

Perfection never goes out of style. (Image from Sony Pictures)

1. Raimi Classic Spider-Man

Look, it is basically perfect. This costume perfectly recreates Spider-Man’s longest running and best-known look with basically zero changes. Never before and not again until IRON MAN did we see such a perfect on-screen recreation of a comic book costume that did worked on-screen.