Given how many takes on the comic book films, especially MCU ones, we seem to have gotten over the past few weeks, I have concerns. Specifically, I am worried about people running out of ways to degrade or dismiss these movies. Just last week, Francis Ford Coppola, great director of the 70s and 80s, slightly above average wine purveyor of the now, called the MCU "despicable". That's a term people typically reserve for truly terrible stuff, not just a wildly popular set of blockbuster films.

Writer, actors, directors, producer, hell, composers of Hollywood, don't panic. I've got you. Here is my guide to how to be hyperbolic about the horrors of the MCU.

Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese, pictured with notable crusader against blockbusters, Steven Spielberg, are just trying to save movies here folks. Why don’t you see it?! (courtesy of Den of Geek)

When someone asks you if you'd like to someday star in a Marvel film?

"You may as well ask me if I plan to join a fascistic movement."

"Do I want to? No, I don't suppose I want to get the blood of a nation on my hands, no."

"The only thing I've wanted less is be thrust into a hairshirt style sack and be beaten with small novelty baseball bats at random intervals for 12 hours."

Do you consider the MCU a good or bad thing for film?

"Do you consider murder a good or bad thing for humanity?"

"I find it intriguing you did not give me an option worse than 'bad'. Perhaps this is because you are in the pocket of the Mouse?"

"Oh, I think it is a good thing. NOT!!!!!!!!!"

Do you enjoy comic book films?

*a swift strike to the interviewers throat*

"Do I look to you like I am an eight year old boy who, for some reason, has fully embraced a philosophy of nihilism?"

"I once lost eight years to my 'enjoyment' of huffing silver paint. Enjoyment is no kind of measure of a thing's worth."

What does the MCU portend for the future of the film industry?

"We're already dead we just don't know it yet."

"The same thing it portends for all of society. Ruin. Utter ruin."

"I pray nightly for the industry's release from its demonic possession. I fear if my prayers fail, it will bring about the coming of the Elder Ones and the birth of Cloaked One, the one who carries the Staff of Endings in its gnarled claws."

What would you say to fans of the genre?

"You have forgotten the faces of your fathers!"

"You have loosed a great evil upon this world. An incalculable disease for which there exists no cure. If I ever see you, and you should pray to the monster you call your god that I will not, I will wipe you from existence without hesitation."

*pour of a can of gas, lights match, burns down the entire building*

Would you ever consider writing/directing/producing a super hero film?

"No one can touch them without being corrupted. Their essence pierces a person's skin, crawls into their veins. Who one is, who one should be, would be erased. Any person would be remade in their image. Soulless. Empty. A shell wandering the landscape, existing only to consume the dreams of others, to unite them in the hivemind, the new consciousness."

"Oh straight away. Just as soon as I drink this tall glass of cyanide. Yum yum yum!"

"What?! You would ask me such a -- well, look, what are we talking about here? What kind of money? Am I getting points on the backend? I tell you what, here's my agent's card. When you put together the offer, give 'em a call."