January 28, 2020: Doesn't Anybody Stay Together Anymore
Song: “Doesn’t Anybody Stay Together Anymore” by Collins, Phil from No Jacket Required
(from syri.net)
“This is tragic,” Brenda sighed looking out across the lawn.
Javier nodded but said nothing. He wasn’t sure he could talk and hold in the sob that was crawling up his throat.
The children played by the swing set, oblivious to the news.
“I just…how? Like if they can’t make it, who can? I mean…what about us?”
“We aren’t them?” he managed, gulping hard.
“Yeah. Exactly. We aren’t them.”
They lapsed into silence. Caroline bopped her younger brother on the head with a big red bat. When Donnie didn’t react, they both let it go.
“People get divorced all the time,” he offered, attempting a new tactic. “My parents are still married and they are TERRIBLE people. Yours haven’t been married in years. Your dad save lives for a living and your mom runs the most significant heart health nonprofit in the US. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“My mom also cheated. A lot.”
“Oh.”
“Like tons. I think my sister once counted it up. Besides dad she slept with like 15 other people the year I turned 10. And that’s 15 people I know of. At 10.”
“Right. But still, she did nice things.”
“Yeah. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal nice!” she joked despite herself. The 18 years since she had discovered her mom was…an enthusiastic collector of lovers had dulled the pain of that revelation.
Javi didn’t laugh though. He was still dwelling.
She slugged him once on the shoulder, “Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal nice.”
He smiled weakly. It was also weird to think of his mother-in-law in those terms. Like, sure, it gave him hope for his own future sex life but also she was his mother-in-law. One could, perhaps, stand to know less about his mother-in-law’s sexual exploits. Perhaps.
“Right,” she whispered.
“I think we’ll be fine,” he offered, trying to assure himself as much as her.
“Think?”
He shrugged. He knew he should say something like, “I promise,” but it felt too silly. Too dishonest.
“No more bat!” Brenda finally yelled after the third time their oldest bumped their youngest on the head with it. No one seemed hurt, but she didn’t really want Caroline to get used to thinking hitting people with bats on the head was fine. It struck Brenda as the least she could to for the larger society.
Her husband, who had somehow walked off without her noticing, returned to the seat next to her. He had a bottle with him.
“Bourbon,” he said, pushing the bottle to her.
“Day drinking?”
He gestured to the paper on the table. She nodded, “Good pointed.”
He poured them both doubles into collectable glasses, emblazoned with the logo of the local amusement park corporation.
“Bottoms up!”
And so they did.
“They were perfect,” she gasped a moment later.
“And we are not.”
“Oh goodness no we are not. We are quite imperfect.”
“Monumentally so.”
“You’d so monumentally imperfect?”
“For effect, sure.”
“Mmmm… good point. Can’t turn down a chance to really put some jazz on it.”
“Gotta make joy where we can.”
Brenda grabbed a bottle and took a long swig. She then grabbed her husband roughly and kissed him, sharing the bourbon.
“We could be dead tomorrow,” she added after they both finished gulping.
“Or divorced,” he replied, indicating to the paper.
“We might not even make it to tomorrow!”
They each downed another double. Their neighbor wandered over to the fence.
“Hey guys, how are you?”
Brenda slipped the bottle behind her.
“Never better!” Javi replied, a bit too falsely.
“Good, good,” the sweet neighbor who Javier was sure was named Sara while Brenda favored the idea she was Sandy. Or Tara. Or Tandy?
“Actually,” Brenda replied, standing up and speaking too fast, “We have this issue with the pipes in our basement.”
“Oh no,” Sara/Sandy/Tara/Tandy replied.
“Oh yes! And we’re waiting for Javi’s mom to come over to watch the kids but she won’t be here for awhile. Could you hang out with them for an hour so we can run to the store to get what we need?”
“Of course,” the neighbor nodded, smiling. She babysat for them now and then and they always insisted on paying her. She did love getting paid. And kids. But getting paid especially.
“Great! Thanks!”
Brenda grabbed Javi’s hand pulled him to his feet.
“Wha?!” he began before she gave him the look.
When they were out of earshot, she explained.
“We may be divorced or dead tomorrow. We are going to the in-law apartment above the garage. We are getting naked. We are having sex.”
“Oh,” he replied. It seemed like a good plan to him so he had little else to offer.
And that was how Brenda and Javier Stewart-Carvalo reacted to the news that their favorite celebrity couple couldn’t make it work.