Song: “All My Days” by Murdoch, Alexi from Away We Go Soundtrack

Dear Billy,

Please don’t worry about me. This all must be confusing to you. It’s confusing to me. But I have to do it.

For all my life I have been searching. Even with you. Even as you filled my everyday with joy. Even as our love grew deeper and deeper. Even after we said “I do,” I was still searching.

I know this is horribly unfair of me, but believe me when I say I did not truly know that I was doing it. It was just. Hmm. It was just like a pulling in the back of my head. Barely perceptible but always there. I ignored it so long that it just disappeared. So long I didn’t even remember I had ever been searching in the first place.

Then this past week happened. Last Tuesday to be clear. That’s when the pulling became undeniable. Became more of a wrenching tug.

I hate that to do this I must give up our life together. If there was another way, I promise you I would take it. I know that there is not though. And I think, deep down you realize it too.

So good bye my love. I shall never forget you but I hope you may forget me. Find someone else. Build a new life.

And then, years later, when the hurting is past, maybe you will occasionally think of me and smile. Bittersweet but kind. A smile of wonderful times past, of pain processed.

I love you. But I love Chainsmokers more. I must follow them on tour. Please understand.

Your foolhardy husband,

Granite