January 16, 2016- Not Coming Home

“Not Coming Home” by Maroon 5 from Songs About Jane

Listen to it here

 (photo from howstuffworks.com)

(photo from howstuffworks.com)


Close-up of an answering machine. Let’s just pretend people still use them. Or it’s the late 90’s. Whatever. Just do what you need to to reconcile yourself with this device. Also this is one that has the time and date visible on it. They made ones like that, right? I’m almost positive they did.

ALEJANDRO (recorded voice on machine)

You’ve reached Alejandro at home. Well, you haven’t. You’ve reached my home but I’m not here. Or busy. Anyway, you get the idea. Name, number, short succinct message. Yes, it is ironic I asked for a short succinct message. No, I don’t approve of you mentioning that in your message.

Answering machine BEEP!

SALLY (just the voice on the machine)

Ali? You’re probably screening. Whatever. Just wanted to let you know I don’t care. Ok? I don’t give a shit. Have a nice life. Or not. What the hell do I care?

Loud hang-up click.

Fade up and then down on the answering machine. Date’s a few days later. Time is…whenever.

ALEJANDRO (recorded voice on machine)

You’ve reached Alejandro at home. Well, you haven’t. You’ve reached my home but I’m not here. Or busy. Anyway, you get the idea. Name, number, short succinct message. Yes, it is ironic I asked for a short succinct message. No, I don’t approve of you mentioning that in your message.

Answering machine BEEP!

SALLY (just the voice on the machine)

You should know you can’t just treat people like you treated me, ok? You should know that! This psycho hot and cold game you pulled? Lots of calls and then nothing? No explanation. Just….not working out?! That’s not how people act, Ali! That’s not ok! So fuck you!

Loud hang-up click.

Fade down, fade up. Answering machine message, few days later.

ALEJANDRO (recorded voice on machine)

You’ve reached Alejandro at home. Well, you haven’t. You’ve reached my home but I’m not here. Or busy. Anyway, you get the idea. Name, number, short succinct message. Yes, it is ironic I asked for a short succinct message. No, I don’t approve of you mentioning that in your message.

Answering machine BEEP!

SALLY (just the voice on the machine)

Look…Ali…look. I don’t like saying these things. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s not what I’m about. But you…you can’t just…be like you are . And I know you are there. Answer the phone Ali. ANSWER IT!

Loud hang-up click.

Fade down, fade up. Same day, a few hours later.

ALEJANDRO (recorded voice on machine)

You’ve reached Alejandro at home. Well, you haven’t. You’ve reached my home but I’m not here. Or busy. Anyway, you get the idea. Name, number, short succinct message. Yes, it is ironic I asked for a short succinct message. No, I don’t approve of you mentioning that in your message.

Answering machine BEEP!

SALLY (just the voice on the machine)

Fine. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! Screw you then! Screw! YOU! I don’t need this. I don’t need you! See, I so don’t even care I’m not swearing. How about that? You don’t matter so you can’t make me mad enough to swear at you.

Just…answer the phone. Come on Ali!

Oh my god. Fine. Be….you. Like usual!

Loud hang-up click.

Multiple tight edits of snippets of the answering machine message and the messages left. Quicker and quicker until it smash cuts to the “present”

ALEJANDRO (recorded voice on machine)

You’ve reached Alejandro at home. Well, you haven’t. You’ve reached my home but I’m not here. Or busy. Anyway, you get the idea. Name, number, short succinct message. Yes, it is ironic I asked for a short succinct message. No, I don’t approve of you mentioning that in your message.

Answering machine BEEP!

SALLY (just the voice on the machine)

YOU BASTARD! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ME AGAIN! You understand?! NEVER! I know you loved looking at my back. I KNOW you did. Well, never again! I hope you’re happy you incredible fuc—

Sound of phone being picked up.

ALEJANDRO (resigned more than angry)

Sally?

SALLY (brought up short, voice cracking and going very quiet)

Oh. He-hey Ali.

ALEJANDRO

My answering machine says 22 unheard messages. All yours?

SALLY

Umm…yeah.

ALEJANDRO gives a long sigh and says noting.

SALLY

So….stop calling?

ALEJANDRO

You think?

SALLY

Took this too far?

ALEJANDRO

Do you have to ask?

SALLY

Probably no random for old time’s hook up sex in a month?

ALEJANDRO

Do you think that would be a good idea?

SALLY

I…don’t make great choices.

ALEJANDRO (sighs)

I’ll see you next month.