January 13, 2016- Are We the Waiting

“Are We the Waiting” by Green Day from American Idiot

Listen to it here

(photo from daringpenguin.com)

(photo from daringpenguin.com)

Dear Hayden,

So you were right.

Does that make you happy? Can we talk now? I know you were pissed when I left and followed Brian. And you were right. He broke my heart. OMG, were you right about everything.

So I’m here in a hotel in Toyko using the “Business Center” because someone stole my laptop yesterday. By the way, hotels in Tokyo are mostly regular size. That whole micro-hotel thing? I don’ think that’s real. Like remember when your Mom was asking us if we were going to rainbow parties? That kind of “but the TV said so” stuff.

Also, how did your mom not figure out I was gay? I mean, it was kind of obvious, wasn’t it? What with me making out with Johnny during your 14th birthday and all that? Up until I came out she was still convinced I was gonna get you pregnant if she left us alone for five minutes. It’s like “Really Mrs. Billings?”

I’m obviously stalling.

Like I said at the beginning, I’m sorry. I get it. Running away to Toyko to chase a guy that I had only dated for a month was not a grand romantic move. I really thought it was. You were right though, it so very much was not.

The thing is though, Toyko is incredible. Brian dumped me like a week ago. No, sorry, two weeks ago, but I can’t bring myself to leave. I’m down to a suitcase with three changes of clothes (laptop stolen, Brian has my Kindle and won’t answer the phone—I may have not handled the break up well—and the laundry mat I was washing the rest of my clothes at caught fire when I ran down the street to get something to eat), my savings are considerably smaller, and my parents are beyond angry and worried about me. I love this place though. I’m miserable, I’m lonely, and I can’t stop feeling like I belong here.


I want you to come out here. I already called and asked your mom about it but she agreed to keep it secret until I emailed you. Brian was not the savior I was looking for but you are my best friend still, mad or not, and I want to experience this with you. I’m buying you a ticket. You’ll fly out here. We’ll stay in this hotel. We’ll run, we’ll scream….Hayden, we’ll be us.

I miss you like crazy and I love you twice as much. Please forgive me. Please forgive me and accept the ticket. Don’t let that idiot ruin us. Come be part of my memories of my favorite place I’ve ever been besides everywhere I’ve ever gone with you.

Text me!

Love you sweet jams,