“Grow Up” by Paramore from Paramore
SALLY sits on her bed, leaning against a large green pillow. BODIO is on the floor, leaning against the bookcase, his legs pulled in towards his chest. SALLY is an older teenage girl dressed for a lazy day taking it easy, BODIO is a large, furry white creatures who’s close cropped fur is streaked with light pastel lines of blue, pink, and yellow. He resembles an albino seven foot tall Geico gecko covered in lamb’s wool.
BODIO (breaking the silence
Well I think he’s an idiot.
SALLY (smiling slightly and sadly)
Dr. Booker is not an idiot.
Agree to disagree, milady, agree to disagree.
Do we have to do this? Can’t we just enjoy our last day together?
BODIO (turning away from her slightly)
Easy enough for you to say. You’re not the one who’s going to blink out of existence in a day.
SALLY (slightly horrified)
That’s not what happens!
BODIO (growing more sarcastic as he speaks)
Maybe?! I have no idea. I don’t know any other imaginary friends who’s friends decided to stop believing in them. I wonder why that is?
I can’t bring you to college. It would be a disaster for me. A real Drop Dead Fred situation.
What does that mean? Drop Dead Fred?
It’s a movie thing…I don’t know. That’s just Dr. Booker called it.
BODIO (a bit theatrical)
Oh, Dr. Booker. Of course.
Look, I might not have seen the movie but he’s still right. If I bring my imaginary friend to college, everyone’s going to think I’m a crazy person.
Well, that’s judgy.
I love you, you know that. But I…Bodio…it’s college. What am I supposed to do?
BODIO (correcting her)
SALLY (standing up, throwing her arms in the air)
I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. But I have to do this. It’s college. Everything’s….different. I can’t make this work and really experience college. We talked about this and you agreed.
No, no, no. I said I could see what you’re saying but I was just trying to be nice. I was hoping if I was agreeable you’d come to your senses. Which you obviously haven’t.
Because this is my senses. No one brings imaginary friends to school!
Maybe they do and maybe they all hang out and have a great time together, reals and imaginaries. But you’ll never know because you’re too scared to try!
SALLY (voice catching a little)
I might be. But I KNOW you’re too scared to live without me!
Of course I am. I don’t know if I can even exist without you!
Stop saying that! You don’t know that!
Ok, fine. Then what do you think happens? You abandon me here and I…what? Wander the country solving crimes?
I bet you could if you wanted to. You’ve always been so smart.
Stop that! Don’t fucking condescend to me!
See? SEE?! Who has an imaginary friend who says “fucking”?
You do! Isn’t that cool?!
NO! It’s weird. It makes me a freak.
You’re not a freak.
Oh what do you know?! You’re just a goddamn imaginary friend that I made up because I was scared of my parents fighting!
You shut up! Shut up! I’m imaginary, but you did not make me up!
And don’t you dare make this about your parents! Don’t short sheet us. I wasn’t just some distractions. We were…we are friends. Real. Friends. This happened.
SALLY (quietly, sad)
What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do, Bodio?
She stares at him until she has to look away to blink back tears. BODIO opens his mouth to argue, then closes it. He lightly slaps the doorframe before walking across the room and sitting next to hear on the bed.
BODIO (exhaling out before speaking)
You’re going to go to college tomorrow. By yourself. You’re going to have a ton of fun, you’re going to meet all kinds of friends. You’ll drink too much at least, kiss the wrong person or two, skip a few classes. But mostly, you’ll do it all on your own so it’s all going to be some kind of great.
But…we really don’t know what’ll happen if I –
I’ll be fine. You went away to camp without me for five years and forgot all about me for about six months after you turned 13 and discovered—.
Anyway, I was fine then. I’m sure I’ll be fine now.
But if you’re wrong…?
Well…everybody dies, right? I’m secure in my spirituality. I exist, right? That’s gotta be proof of something.
SALLY (crying a little, hugging BODIO)
I don’t want you to die. I just want to go to college.
BODIO (hugging her back, another chuckle)
I know, I know. Let’s not worry about that right now, ok? Let’s just have a good day.
Is coming either way. Might as well enjoy today.