Writer's Commentary: Neon

On Post: Neon

Date: January 28, 2013

Find it here 

I find this entry fairly frustrating.

This is me. Except you know, I'm way more manly. (picture from  sherfickart.com )

This is me. Except you know, I'm way more manly. (picture from sherfickart.com)

There is a lot I like about it, which I suppose is a big part of the frustration. I like the concepts presented. I enjoy the initial narrative of the couple, one wild, one straight laced, seemingly mismatched. Everyone assumes their romance will be nothing but a brief fling, but they don’t seem to have gotten the memo as they stay together, make it through long distance, and move in together. They are the romantic comedy success story we all at least somewhat want to witness or be a part of.

However, they are still mismatched and being in love hasn’t changed that. One of them has changed more than the other, gone farther outside his comfort zone, and rather than being transformed by it has just been worn down. He loves her but he can’t keep up and he knows the day when it all becomes too much for him is coming sooner rather than later. The equilibrium he always figured would kick in someday still has not and it seems it never will. Thus, the relationship cannot survive, regardless of the fairy tale of it.

I even like that the POV isn’t either the exhausted boyfriend or the unseen girlfriend but rather a college friend of them both. It lends the scene a different kind of energy.

All of that being said, I’m not happy with how I combined the ingredients. Given how each component appeals to me, the final layering of them all should be much more enjoyable than it is. I’m not sure how exactly I missed the mark but I certainly feel as though I did. And there is nothing more frustrating than nearly, but not quite, getting it.