Song: “Not Your Fault” by AWOLNATION from Megalithic Symphony

(Picture taken from http://www.guardian.co.uk)

A man in a suit and a man in a plain khaki jumpsuit sit opposite one another in a feature-less grey cinderblock room. On one side of the room, there is a heavy metal door visible, behind the man in the jumpsuit, THE CLIENT’s, head is a large window with metal bars over it. The man in the suit, THE THERAPIST, sits with a pad on his lap, a briefcase just next to his feet.

THE CLIENT

This isn’t going at all like I thought it would.

THE THERAPIST

In what way did you think it would go differently?

THE CLIENT

I was expecting something more like Good Will Hunting? You know, you tell me it’s not my fault until I break down and cry.

THE THERAPIST

Well…that scene is generally not regarded as particularly accurate or “good” therapy. Anyway, this isn’t really about assigning blame. But, objectively speaking, you certainly are responsible for what happened.

THE CLIENT

So…I’m not Matt Damon?

THE THERAPIST

Robin Williams’s character was trying to reassure Matt Damon’s character that the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father was nothing he earned. You repeatedly stabbed a waiter because your steak was overdone. There are fairly significant differences.

THE CLIENT

Ok, fine. Of course, I can see that. But you have to admit what the restaurant did was criminal.

THE THERAPIST

I…How so?

THE CLIENT (disbelieving)

To take a piece of filet mignon and treat it like that?!

THE THERAPIST

While perhaps not good cooking, there are no laws against overcooking steaks of any kind, even filets.

THE CLIENT

None of man’s laws, perhaps. But wouldn’t you agree that there are certain injustices that society simply has failed to acknowledge? That exist regardless of whether or not the government says they are wrong?

THE THERAPIST

For instance?

THE CLIENT

Alright, so here in this fine state, gay marriage is illegal. The state is more or less saying love between two people, if they are of the same gender, is invalid.

THE THERAPIST

So, to be clear, you are comparing overcooking beef with denying human rights to someone on the basis of their sexual preferences? And that you stabbing a waiter was…some sort of stand for justice?

THE CLIENT (shrugging)

Well, when you put it that way.

THE THERAPIST begins to fill in a sheet of paper in triplicate.

THE CLIENT (straining in his seat, curious)

Whatcha writing?

THE THERAPIST

Notes.

THE CLIENT

On me?

THE THERAPIST

Uh-huh.

THE CLIENT

So…am I fit to stand trial?

THE THERAPIST

Absolutely.

THE CLIENT

Are…you sure? Because the way you were talking before…I guess I just figured you thought I was crazy.

THE THERAPIST

Crazy is not a clinical term. Sociopathic, perhaps. But regardless, you do not meet the criteria for legal insanity. So you will stand trial.

THE CLIENT

That’s… disappointing.

THE THERAPIST (packing up)

I can only imagine.

THE CLIENT

Wait, did you say sociopath?

THE THERAPIST (not really giving THE CLIENT his attention)

Mmmhmm

THE CLIENT

So, I’m like Hannibal Lecter?

THE THERAPIST (an exasperated sigh)

No. No you are not.

THE CLIENT

But you said I might be a socio—

THE THERAPIST (interrupting)

I did. I said might, first of all. Second, sociopaths like Lecter or any of those other genius criminal mastermind murder types in movies, books, and TV don’t really exist. Your favorite serial killer fictio—

THE CLIENT (interrupting)

Copycat!

THE THERAPIST

Copycat?

THE CLIENT

That’s my favorite movie with a serial killer.

THE THERAPIST

Really? Not Manhunter or Silence of the Lambs or Blow Out or even, I don’t know, Mr. Brooks? But Copycat?!

THE CLIENT (shrugging)

I found the pacing to be taut and the characterization, especially of Sigourney Weaver’s profiler, to be quite smart.

THE THERAPIST

Right. Fine. Anyway, not accurate. At all.

THE CLIENT

So sociopaths don’t exist?

THE CLIENT (facetiously panicking)

Oh god, Doc, do I not exist?!

THE THERAPIST

What? No, no. You very much exist. Sociopaths exist…they have a disorder known as Antisocial Personality Disorder. But they are rarely, if ever, capable of the incredible machinations of movie serial killers. Sociopaths are reckless, poor planners, and often make very obvious mistakes. For instance, stabbing someone in the middle of a restaurant filled with witnesses.

THE CLIENT

What about the Zodiac Killer?

THE THERAPIST

Exception that proves the rule. Plus, since he was never caught, we can’t diagnosis him with Antisocial Personality Disorder.

THE CLIENT (disbelieving)

So you’re saying the Zodiac Killer might not have been crazy?

THE THERAPIST

The clinical definition of “crazy,” if you insist on using that, is much different than society’s. By society’s parameters, of course he was crazy. Be psychologically? Impossible to say without meeting him face to face.

THE CLIENT

Alright, fine. Son of Sam. He wrote notes too.

THE THERAPIST

And he was caught because he was seen at the scene of one of the crimes. Mastermind he wasn’t. Besides, if he was at all honest, he was delusional, not sociopathic. Receiving instructions to kill from a dog is not a symptom of APD.

THE CLIENT

Dahmer!

THE THERAPIST

A lot of people think Dahmer had APD, that’s true. He was also an alcoholic with a history of abnormal sexual behaviors including public masturbation and the fondling of an underage boy. He committed his first murder without forethought, out of what appears to be frustration with the man refusing to hang out with him longer. Although he later developed techniques to hide the murders, he continued to be reckless in his selection of victims, and at no time attempted to play cat and mouse games with the police. He was no movie villain.

THE CLIENT

Pop culture lied?

THE THERAPIST

Very much so, yes. About this and several other things.

THE CLIENT

This is going to be difficult to process. I always thought sociopaths were, like, smooth and debonair and could twist society’s rules against themselves.

THE THERAPIST

Yeeeeah, no. For people with Antisocial Personality Disorder the thing is…it’s hard to make the rules work for you if you don’t give a damn about them enough to learn them. Say I hand you a six page book and tell you that those six pages contain all the rules you must live by. I hand everyone else around you a 60-page book with the same instructions. You, with the six pages, will often by out of step with everyone, acting oddly by their standards, and usually, if you step to perceive the differences, be clueless as to why.

That’s life as a sociopath. Real people with Antisocial Personality Disorder can’t play the system against itself because they don’t understand the system. They are so convinced of their specialness, of their need to not follow the rules that they never bother to actually understand them. Thus, dumb, reckless, impulsive and so on and so on.

THE CLIENT

What you’re saying is that I’ll never help an FBI agent track a serial killer?

THE THERAPIST

For the good of us all, hopefully not.

THE CLIENT

Wow….well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.

THE THERAPIST (tired)

Couldn’t be more thrilled about that.

THE CLIENT

Oh! Wait, wait. Last question: have you ever eaten at Robbie’s on Main.

THE THERAPIST (quickly swallowing a laugh, shaking his head)

No, never.

THE CLIENT

Why not? Seems like the kind of classy joints people like you would love.

THE THERAPIST (smiling now)

You…you don’t really want to know.

THE CLIENT

Oh come on, lay it on me.

THE THERAPIST (exhales, shakes his head again, and knocks on the heavy steel door)

In “classy people” circles, it’s fairly well known that Robbie’s chef doesn’t know how to cook a steak to save his life.

As the door opens, THE THERAPIST visibly pauses in the doorway, seemingly debating saying more. In the end, he appears to shake it off.

THE THERAPIST (walking out)

Well, bye now.