Track Number: 18
Song: “(I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever) Get Over You” by Colin Hay off the Garden State soundtrack
Inside a coffee shop a man and woman are conversing over hot beverages. Their body language conveys the fact that while they know each other, they are not exactly comfortable with one another. The man is more aggressive, leaning into the table, while the woman is pushed back a bit from the table, arms crossed.
—and that’s how my cousin got his nickname.
IONE (a slight, small laugh)
A long pause.
Hey, remember when we used to go out every year on the anniversary of our break-up.
IONE (rolls her eyes)
Ugh. Yes. It was only twice before I wised up though. That was awful of you.
I suppose. Anyway, I was re-reading my journals from my college years.
I never knew you kept a journal.
CALVIN (to himself)
Perhaps that lack of interest was part of the problem with our relationship.
IONE (straining to hear)
I’m sorry? What was that?
Hm? Oh, nothing. Nevermind. Anyway, I was re-reading them and you know what I had plum forgot?
IONE (something clicking for her, smirking at a memory)
That we hooked up a few times after we broke up?
That we hooked up a few times after we broke up!
I had forgotten about that too until just now. That’s so funny.
Yes, yes it. And you know what else is funny?
No, what’s that?
The last time we hooked up—
IONE (the weirdness dawning on her)
Oh…no. Not this ag—
—was March. Today, actually, as it turns out.
Oh, Calvin, please tell me you just brought me here to buy insurance.
CALVIN (now he’s the confused one)
IONE (a touch of exasperation creeping into her voice)
Yes. I know you got the new job and that you had pitched Stan. So I thought I was helping you out. Plus, with the twins, having more life insurance probably is not a bad idea. Was I wrong about this?
Not at all. It is always a good idea to get life insurance when you start having children.
I meant about why you wanted to meet.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllll….yes and no. Insurance is about planning for your future and planning for our future is why I invited you here.
Did you say “our” future?
Yes. Yes I did. Because I know you made a mistake back then and I know you regret it. You just were not as mature as me. But you are now and I know you get it.
We have not dated in eight years. And I didn’t breakup with you because I was immature. We dated for six years. Six! That’s pretty damn mature for someone who was 14 when the relationship started. I dumped you because…because it was time.
And yet, you still came. So strong was the draw of our love?
IONE (fully exasperated now)
Because we’re friends! Or friends of friends anyway. We see each other a few times a year! When a friend invites you out for coffee you don’t expect to be ambushed.
I think you wanted to be ambushed. I think you needed to be ambushed. Lonely. Twenty-eight. Not sure where to go or to go there with--
I’m married. I have twin boys who are three years old. I have a life I’m happy with.
Kids, huh? You’d never guess that with how great your body looks. I don’t know how, but I would swear your breasts are perkier.
IONE (a bit knocked off her game by that)
But so not the point! And you know I have kids. You’ve met them!
Did I? Huh…I feel like I’d remember that. Anyway, you can leave them with your ex-husband. We’ll want to start our own family, I assure you.
No, we will not. I am not getting a divorce. I am not leaving my kids. I can’t believe you would do this to… to… whatshername, Claire? Carol? The woman you have been dating for three years!
She was but a trifle. Someone to…hone my sexual abilities on to be a better lover for you. But, rest assured, you never left my mind. I might have been making love to her, but it was all for you.
Believe it, baby! Every time I kissed her, I imagined it was your lips. Every time she touched me, it was your hands. I used to call your name out in bed at…climax.
You…did not. She never would have stayed with you!
I never mentioned you to her and I told her I had a huge crush on Ione Skye. She thought we were role playing.
That’s awful, Calvin.
I know, I know. But that’s what you do to me. I am so in love with you.
IONE (standing up, disgusted)
She storms out of the café as Calvin lingers, sipping on his coffee.
Well, there’s always next year.
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