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Tim Stevens is Un Gajje

It's not just a nickname, it's a way of life

Hello and welcome! So glad to have you joining us.

I am Tim Stevens, husband, father, booster of all things Newington, CT related etc etc. It seems unlikely you just found this site by accident so all that was probably review. Anyway, I freelance write for a variety of sites including, most prominently, Marvel.com (home of the House of Ideas) and New Paris Press (New England's online answer to the New Yorker). I also write for pure ha-ha's including the annual Tim Stevens's The January Project.

Oh, and then there's the whole almost a Doctor of Psychology thing (Psy D to be specific). 

I am available for further freelance work, birthday parties, and dangerous missions to save the planet. Happy to provide samples and recommendations related to all three.

This is my online home. Please enjoy.

 

This woman appears to be snacking, but we all know that can't be. (lapbandsurgery.com)

This woman appears to be snacking, but we all know that can't be. (lapbandsurgery.com)

February 07, 2018 By: Tim Stevens
Tags: The Tuesday List, women, food, humor
Comment

The Tuesday List: Women's Snacks

Doritos are planning to introduce snacks for women. Which is awesome because, to date, women have never really had an opportunity to snack. Equal rights, y’all!

However, there are still so many industries that are not looking out for the ladies with customized items. Don’t worry though, capitalism, I got you. Here are…

10 Other Products That Should Be Modified For Women, Finally

Women’s Chocolate Chip Cookies- Made in a lab to prevent any chocolate melting on the white elbow length gloves women always wear.

Women’s Office- Like a traditional office but with a lot more pillows, a camera to check on their children because being a mom is the most incredible thing in the world, and a fainting couch.

Women’s Police Uniforms- Same classic color but in a flouncy dress with a flattering waistline and a generous neckline. Paired with knee high high heel boots so our favorite women can feel feminine while busting the bad guys!

Women’s Steak- It’s a salad. Just greens with a light vinaigrette.

Women’s Films- Lots of talking, little to no action, shot through a gauzy lens, featuring no actors under the age of 46, and scored by a soundtrack of Lilith Fair acts. Occasionally a man with thoughtfully gaze into the camera and affirm gender roles while refusing to do chores because women find men doing chores wildly unsexy.

Women’s Headphones- They turn themselves down so women can hear compliments and requests they smile from passing men.

Women’s  Physical Intimacy- I don’t need to tell you how little interest women have in sex. It’s just not their thing. Thus, women’s physical intimacy involves the biggest softest bed, lit candles, soft music, again lots of pillows, monogrammed pajamas, and gentle cuddling while discussing how great Oprah is.

Women’s Pets- Cats and dogs that come pre-dressed in adorable outfits with at least 6 more to mix and match with. Ribbons around ears or neck available for a small surcharge.

Women’s Gyms- A place to do Tae-Bo, Zoomba, or yoga while explaining why their moms are their best friends.

Women’s Grenades- Same exact thing but in pink. As women like.

  • The Feed
  • Older
  • Newer
  • The Feed
  • About
  • Contact
  • Tim Stevens's The January Project
  • The February Prompt
  • This Never Happened: The Podcast
Tim Stevens is Un Gajje
It's not just a nickname, it's a way of life

Hello and welcome! So glad to have you joining us.

I am Tim Stevens, husband, father, booster of all things Newington, CT related etc etc. It seems unlikely you just found this site by accident so all that was probably review. Anyway, I freelance write for a variety of sites including, most prominently, Marvel.com (home of the House of Ideas) and New Paris Press (New England's online answer to the New Yorker). I also write for pure ha-ha's including the annual Tim Stevens's The January Project.

Oh, and then there's the whole almost a Doctor of Psychology thing (Psy D to be specific). 

I am available for further freelance work, birthday parties, and dangerous missions to save the planet. Happy to provide samples and recommendations related to all three.

This is my online home. Please enjoy.