The Tuesday List: Gifts of the 12 Days of Christmas, Ranked

With December now here, there can be no denying Christmas music any longer! So let’s rank the gifts of the 12 Days of Christmas, eh?

 Look! There's legitimately 9 of them! (rockettes.com)

Look! There's legitimately 9 of them! (rockettes.com)

Ranking the Gifts of the 12 Days of Christmas from Worst to Best

12.) Twelve drummers drumming- Too damn loud!

11.) Eleven pipers piping- Not as loud, but I don’t think I can listen to that much piping.

10.) Six geese a-laying- Messy, messy, messy!

9.) Two turtle doves- One step removed from pigeons, the gutter rats of the sky.

8.) Four calling birds- Who are they calling? And why? I don’t need a bunch of spies in my house.

7.) Three french hens- Meat

6.) Eight maids a-milking- I have kids who love milk and I’m a cereal fan. Plus with those 8 maids working round the clock, I can sell some of the milk and make myself a little cash.

5.) Ten lords a-leaping- They literally have to say, “How high?” when I say jump.

4.) Seven swans a-swimming- Pretty birds

3.) Nine ladies dancing- The male gaze strikes again!

2.) A partridge in a pear tree- I don’t care about the bird, but I’m a big pear fan. Also, trees clean the air we breathe.

1.) Five gold rings- Five gets me half way to the picture below. A shame they aren’t green though.

 Look how happy he is! (craveonline.com)

Look how happy he is! (craveonline.com)