With summer movie season here, it is important you make the right choices when it comes to snacks from the concession stand. I’m here to help.

"Who me? Oh no, I assure you, I'm not creepy at all. You must be mistaken. Now what can I offer you for your soul. Err...I mean...today's showing." (image from jarcoindustries.com)

Best Concession Stand Snacks (In no particular order)

1.) Popcorn- It’s a classic for a reason. I recommend always going with the small—no matter how they try to upsell you—because no one can really enjoy more than a small popcorn. Any more than that and you are just engaging in gluttony. And don’t be afraid to throw some salt, or if you are feeling daring, a little butter flavoring, on there. You aren’t eating this every day, right?

2.) Nachos and cheese- Only if the cheese comes from the pump and is not individually prepackaged. Individually prepackaged cheese is just insulting. Don’t stand for that nonsense.

3.) M&Ms- I say go peanut or go home, but plain isn’t terrible. The real gem of a theatre might have, say, peanut butter or pretzel M&Ms and you should absolutely get on those!

4.) Sour Patch Kids- If you are looking to either go “fruit-flavored” or gummy, these are your jam. Don’t bother with the worms or the bears and NEVER EVER try Dots.

5.) Sno-Caps- They are delightful! Don’t believe the haters.

6.) Pretzel Bites- Am I surprised to see this on here? Sure. But when you think about it, it makes sense. Pretzel bites are a comer these days and I’m just giving them the respect they deserve.

7.) Something you snuck in from home- It doesn’t matter what because a.) it’s like it was free and b.) being naughty feels kind of good, you know?

Not now, not ever. (image from fitbie.com)

Concession Stand Snacks to Avoid (In no particular order)

1.) Anything meal-esque- Unless you are starving, forego the chicken tenders, pizza, etc. It’s insanely expensive and you can get the same thing around the corner and it’ll taste so much better. Exceptions are the rare theatres that are focused on you eating there for lunch/dinner with waitstaff, mini-tables at the seats, and so on. One assumes their food is probably a bit better.

2.) Dots- See above

3.) Milk Duds- To steal from the Simpsons, there’s poison inside those damn things.

4.) Icees- See #1. If you just NEEEEEEEEED that kind of thing on that day, treat yourself to 7-11 afterwards.

5.) “Smart” snacks- First, usually, they aren’t all that smart so they are just fooling you into thinking you are eating better than you really are. Second, come on! If you are going to get snacks at the movies, get snacks! Don’t try to convince yourself these are just as good when everyone, including you, knows they aren’t. Just bring an apple from home because then, at least, you get a little of #7 above.

6.) Crackers- I don’t know…just think about how disappointing it will be, eating crackers as you watch beautiful people do incredible things.

7.) Anything involving fish- I love fish. Still, a movie theatre is neither the time nor place my friend.