Hot takes are hot! Hot takes on hot takes? Bold. Too bold? Probably. But I’m not afraid. I look at the headline and I respond. No need to read the article. That’s just a waste of precious time.

My Hot Takes on Hot Takes

“Ivanka Trump Argues Her Father Is 'One Of The Great Advocates For Women'” (Huffington Post)

Nope! Not this version anyway.

“The year in political correctness” (Newsday)

When people agree with my sensibilities, I am fine with it. When they disagree, they are being excessively politically correct. Oh and it’s ruining America. Or something.

“Could the Once-Dinky Snapchat Soon Eclipse Twitter?” (Slate.com)

No.

“‘Star Wars’ and Decadence” (The New York Times)

Why are the Ewoks allowed to grow fat on the efforts of the makers? When will the Republic pass a flat tax and put the burden on where it belongs? The takers!

“Is It Ever OK to Call Something Gay?” (Slate.com)

Is it engaging in sexual intercourse with a same sex partner and/or expressing erotic interest in a same sex partner? Then that’s fine. Otherwise, probably not, right?

“You Will Be Hearing a Lot More About Marco Rubio” (The New York Times)

I can’t wait for us all to come to terms with the reality that Rubio is the fetch of the 2016 election. No matter who hard people try, it’s never gonna happen.

“How the Democrats Can Reclaim the Senate” (Newsday)

Dark magics! Or magicks. Or is magiks? Sex magick?

Or, just wait, really. The map is pretty favorable in 2016.

“Facebook Flap Is A Distraction From The Real Battle” (Hartford Courant)

Instagram is where the war will be won or lost!

“A new hope for R.E.M. fans: Is Peter Buck hinting at a chance for a reunion?” (Salon.com)

Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare play with emotions!

“Elizabeth Warren is Shaping the Democratic Primary Without Even Running” (Slate.com)

Sure. Fine. Just…fine. She’s the Benedict Cumberbatch of American politics. We’re so obsessed with casting her in every role, every “revolution” that we’ve reduced her to a puzzle piece while totally ignoring the things we should actually praise her for.

“Ending racism should be Obama’s life mission as he exits presidency” (New York Daily News)

This strikes me as a totally realistic mission and expectation. And really, only something Obama should be working on. If he’s on the case, the rest of us can just…coast.