By: Tim Stevens
Song: The Sound of Settling
Artist: Death Cab for Cutie
(Picture taken from http://www.sodahead.com/)
I am obsessed with Marnie.
Well, obsessed isn’t the right word. Or maybe it is. I…I’ll be honest, none of it makes any sense at all.
I want her to like me. I want to like her. I want to date her. I just…well, God only knows why.
You see, I don’t like LIKE her, like her, you know? I don’t look at her and get all flushed. I can easily take my eyes off her. She smile doesn’t take my breath away, her eyes don’t hypnotize me, her body doesn’t leave me like a steel pole. And yet…I really want us to date.
I don’t know why this is. She’s not the girl I find hottest on my floor, nevermind at this school. She’s not the funniest. She’s definitely not the easiest to talk to. But still, I need to make this relationship happen.
I’m certain it is not a reflected glory thing either. I’ve spent plenty of time with her. I’ve seen how she flirts and how she acts with me. Trust me, it is clear that I am not the hottest, funniest, or easiest to talk for her either.
I should want to be with Carrie from my French class or Crystal at the library, or even Marnie roommate Gina…I hear she’s a lot of fun. And I mean that in the college guy way, if that’s not clear. But no, my sights are set on Marnie. The girl I’m kind of friends with.
It feels mystical though. Like…other beings are guiding me on. Which I know makes me sound crazy. But I also feel crazy. Because really…her? What am I thinking? Am I thinking? I can’t even blame it on booze or loneliness. I’m sober and doing fine in the hooking up department. This is messed up.
I’m sure she doesn’t feel the same. How could she? She’s not a lunatic.
I should just ask her out.
No, no. I should ask anyone else but her out.
This is confusing.