Song: “Juicy” by Better Than Ezra from Before The Robots

Dear Editor,

I am a long-time subscriber of the Daily Record. Like many I have been disappointed, at times, with some aspects of the paper. There was the two-year period when, no matter how much I complained, your delivery system insisted on placing the morning edition on my bed. I still do not know how they got in or out of my home or who decided it was an ok thing to do but I dealt with it and am happy to say it did eventually stop.

I have also disagreed with the editorial board. Endorsing the mythic malevolent spirit known only as “HopeEater,” for Newbury Commons’ Town Manager seemed ill-advised at the time. While HopeEater has done some good for our town, I still can’t help but think that the hundreds of devoured souls are not worth the new sports arena, no matter how state of the art it is. Also, the idea that it generates so much financial benefit is junk math and has been disproven multiple times in multiple cities over the years. But I digress.

And yes I was amongst those who were concerned that printing the newspaper in a different code every day would prove yet another impediment between the people and the information that was their right. Obviously, I see now what a treat it is to have to crack the code everyday to find out how our local girls field hockey team did and how many murders have happened during the month of March.

Even as I expressed my strong objections in the clearest of terms, though, I never once considered dropping the paper. Journalism is deeply important to a healthy society and I have never wavered in my philosophical or financial commitment to that.

However, last week’s response to Claire Peugot’s letter may have changed my mind.

For those unaware, she had written to say she was disappointed to find that HopeEater’s affair was front page news while the fact that our town is now radioactive only made it on to the third page of the business section. She was worried that perhaps the Record was placing sensationalism before their commitment to informing the public.

The editor replied that she should, “shut up or be shut be up.” He then went on to say that her neighbors found her boring and that her current partner was likely to be sleeping with “18 different people as you write this asinine letter.” He also assured her that everyone else loved the coverage and that she, in time, would fall in like. He added, as means of clarification, that soon she’d be “snuffling up every front-page story, without questioning, like a prize pig.” He also suggested that she would be happier if she simply accepted what they told her too. Finally, the editor implied she could be so pretty if she just smiled more.

I, for one, am outraged about the comparison of her to a pig. First this is obviously a coded dig at her nose. Yes, we have all wondered with Claire, with all her money and sophistication, did not just spring for a nose job and fix it up. Because come on! However, that was in common conversation behind her back. Saying such things for all to read, provided they realized that Thursday’s addition was using a simple substitution code, goes too far. Claire is an accomplished woman, hideous nose or not.

I do hope the Record will do the first thing and I will not have to end my subscription. Even women with obvious animal features deserve a voice.