Suggested by: RedRocketDawg (Who, apparently, wishes to remain pseudonystic)
Song: “The Thong Song” by Sisqo
The time: January 6, 2000
The place: A downtown hot spot
The event: A smooth pickup artist brought low
The drink dripped down his face, the slight burn of alcohol tickling his upper lip. He could hardly understand it. Things seemed to be going so well. She was just his type, giggly and short with bouncing dark hair. And he had worn his lucky shirt, which she specifically complimented. And there was flirtation. Oh goodness, was there flirtation! And then things got a little sexy. Not like desperate, don’t care who I go home with tonight sexy, but like maybe new relationship sexy.
So he used the line. He knew the song would be huge, but for now no one knew it. If she still remembered the line by the time the single hit, it would be like a little joke between them and if she didn’t, eh, who cares. It was a no-harm situation. It didn’t work though. The line, which should have been killer, just pissed her off. Hence the drink throwing. Which truth be told, struck him a bit melodramatic. This was not some hacky sitcom after all. So perhaps he was better off without a lady who would treat real life in such a way.
Still, it bothered him. After all, if Sisqo thought, “Dumps like a truck” was a compliment, it damn sure was a compliment.
“Aww, well,” he thought with a shrug, mopping his brow, “Unleash the Dragon is a better song anyway.” And certainly that was not a pickup line that could go awry.
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