The Tuesday List: Ranking M&Ms

Sometimes, one has to get serious and do something real and in-depth and world changing.

Like placing the flavors of M&Ms on shelves in order from worst tasting to best.

M&M Flavors, Ranked

9.) The Fall Flavors- Pumpkin and Candy Corn- Look, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: if you want to eat something flavored to taste like a gourd, I’m not in the business of judging you. But it is gross.

As for Candy Corn M&Ms, we already have a small size candy flavored like Candy Corn. They’re called Candy Corn. Why on earth, if you are someone that likes candy corn, do you need another product that tastes like it? Similarly, if you don’t like the flavor of candy corn, what about putting it in M&M form is going to change that?

8.) Almond- Innocuous enough, sure. Peanut is better, no doubt about it, but almond can’t be bad, right?

Well, consider this: cyanide tastes like almonds.

You want a treat that tastes like poison? I rest my case.

7.) Crispy- Fine. Utterly…fine.

6.) Mint- Refreshing. But a pouch full of them becomes an exercise in diminishing returns.

5.) Dark- I really quite like them, but it just doesn’t rise to the level of the classic combo.

4.) Milk- Can’t be beat. Except by the next three, of course.

3.) Peanut Butter- Ever been frustrated by a Reese’s Piece? Ever want it to be just a little bit…more? Peanut Butter M&M’s are the answer.

2.) Pretzel- The dark horse. Salty and sweet in nearly the right proportions. A delight.

1.) Peanut- The king. Even if Jon Stewart (formerly of the Daily Show) disagrees, you can’t keep it from being true. Peanut M&Ms are the best.


Regardless of your favorite, though, we can all agree on one thing, I think. It’s super weird that they decided to have a sexualized M&M mascot, right?