The Way It Is, The Way I Wish It Was

Everyone’s favorite Kayne West song to cover is “Heartless.”

                I wish it was “Robocop.”

 

 No matter what Mr. West says, I need a Robocop. (photo from dtmmr.com)

No matter what Mr. West says, I need a Robocop. (photo from dtmmr.com)

There are nine Hellraiser films.

                I wish there were 9 Nightbreed films instead.

                                Or, even better, 9 Rawhead Rex films. Because, wow, what a bizarre world that would be.


 Stop it Zenescope comics! I will not be persuaded by these base methods. (image from zenescope.com)

Stop it Zenescope comics! I will not be persuaded by these base methods. (image from zenescope.com)

Hammer’s #1 single of all time is “Can’t Touch This.”

                I wish it was the superior in every way “Pumps and Bumps.”

                                I also wish the music video for it was just a loop of the scene from “Too Legit” when his family walks in on the filming of the music video.

 

People love Wizard of Oz.

                I wish more people hated it like I do.

 

Most couples select romantic songs with personal significance to them for their first dance.

                I wish more would choose “Strokin’” by Clarence Carter instead.

 "I'll never forget when I looked into her eyes while Clarence croons, 'And if my stuff ain't tight enough...'" (photo from palmbeachdancing.com)

"I'll never forget when I looked into her eyes while Clarence croons, 'And if my stuff ain't tight enough...'" (photo from palmbeachdancing.com)

 Guys....he's just cool. (image from comicvine.com)

Guys....he's just cool. (image from comicvine.com)

The most well-known aquatic hero is Aquaman.

                I wish it was Stringray.

 

We have had many, many Law and Order and CSI spin-offs.

                I wish we had that many M.A.N.T.I.S. and VR5 spin-offs instead.

 

Seems like a lot of people are blaming super hero movie for the lack of creativity in Hollywood today.

                I wish they’d blame the Illuminati, a secret society that DOES exist, the real cause of all the woes in today’s film industry.

 

 It's pretty unlikely anyone will get the reference I put above to a Fatboy Slim remix but sometimes I do things just to amuse myself. (image from phlmetropolis.com)

It's pretty unlikely anyone will get the reference I put above to a Fatboy Slim remix but sometimes I do things just to amuse myself. (image from phlmetropolis.com)

I thought this piece was a good idea when I started

                I wish I had been thinking clearer.