The Way It Is, The Way I Wish It Was

Everyone’s favorite Kayne West song to cover is “Heartless.”

                I wish it was “Robocop.”

No matter what Mr. West says, I need a Robocop. (photo from dtmmr.com)

There are nine Hellraiser films.

                I wish there were 9 Nightbreed films instead.

                                Or, even better, 9 Rawhead Rex films. Because, wow, what a bizarre world that would be.

Stop it Zenescope comics! I will not be persuaded by these base methods. (image from zenescope.com)

Hammer’s #1 single of all time is “Can’t Touch This.”

                I wish it was the superior in every way “Pumps and Bumps.”

                                I also wish the music video for it was just a loop of the scene from “Too Legit” when his family walks in on the filming of the music video.

People love Wizard of Oz.

                I wish more people hated it like I do.

Most couples select romantic songs with personal significance to them for their first dance.

                I wish more would choose “Strokin’” by Clarence Carter instead.

"I'll never forget when I looked into her eyes while Clarence croons, 'And if my stuff ain't tight enough...'" (photo from palmbeachdancing.com)

Guys....he's just cool. (image from comicvine.com)

The most well-known aquatic hero is Aquaman.

                I wish it was Stringray.

We have had many, many Law and Order and CSI spin-offs.

                I wish we had that many M.A.N.T.I.S. and VR5 spin-offs instead.

Seems like a lot of people are blaming super hero movie for the lack of creativity in Hollywood today.

                I wish they’d blame the Illuminati, a secret society that DOES exist, the real cause of all the woes in today’s film industry.

It's pretty unlikely anyone will get the reference I put above to a Fatboy Slim remix but sometimes I do things just to amuse myself. (image from phlmetropolis.com)

I thought this piece was a good idea when I started

                I wish I had been thinking clearer.