“A Question of Time” by Depeche Mode from Black Celebration

“A Question of Time” by Depeche Mode from Black Celebration

Listen to it here

HECTOR eases open the door and walks through, carrying his guitar. DARKOTH pops his head around the corner shortly thereafter.

IVAN (confused)

Who are you?

DARKOTH fully enters the garage. He is dressed in opal colored armor (think more Iron Man than knight in shining but not copying either) and a deep crimson cape. He opens his arms wide in a look of defiance and intimidation.

DARKOTH (proud)

I am Darkoth the Unyielding! I have come from the past to destroy your future! I will make you weepand beg fo—

HECTOR (sighing as he unpacks his guitar and begins to arrange cords, plug it in, etc)

He was waiting for me at the bus stop and followed me over. I think he’s harmless.

DARKOTH (scoffing)

Darkoth is hardly harmle—

IVAN (cutting him off)

Whatever. You can hang, I guess, just don’t talk while we’re tuning or playing.

WESTON lets loose a peel of thumps on the drum kit, seemingly oblivious to the time travelling villain in their midst.

DARKOTH (annoyed)

Perhaps you did not hear me. I am Darkoth the Unyielding! I have come from the past to destroy your—

HECTOR (without looking up, tuning his bass)

Tuning here! Shut up!

DARKOTH (reacting almost as though he had been physically struck)

Do you realize the forces you meddle with? I have mastered the timepulses. I have molded events to my whim up and down the timestream. I am literally the Lord of—

WESTON (spiking his drumsticks on the kit)

DAMMIT! Sit on the couch and shut up!

The garage goes quiet. DARKOTH opens his mouth as if to object but SAMMIE shakes her head no at him from the back of the space. He shuts it and shuffles his way to the couch. TANISHA setting up her keyboards, rolls her eyes at him as he passes. He flops on the couch, awkwardly.

DARKOTH (to himself mostly)

Fine! But I’ve still come for the past to destroy all your futures.

SAMMIE (sitting down next to him)

So…you’re from the past? Because you look like you’re from the future.

DARKOTH

I was born in the past. I have traveled all over the timeverse. So I am from the past but I lay claim to it all, past, present, and future.

SAMMIE (nodding)

Right, right. And you’re here now to?

DARKOTH (puffing himself up)

I’ve come from the past to destroy all your futures!

SAMMIE (eyebrows knitting together)

And, why?

DARKOTH

As ruler of every second, every minute, every hour, I see fit to torment mere mortals.

SAMMIE

Seems…unnecessary. But I get it. Capricious ruler, iron fist, fear, and so on. But why us? No one in this room, besides you, is older than 16.

DARKOTH

I was drawn to Hector.

SAMMIE

So Hector’s….special?

DARKOTH

I am special. Hector is meaningless.

SAMMIE

But you said you were drawn to him

DARKOTH sighs and mumbles something.

SAMMIE (straining to hear)

What?

DARKOTH

He had a sandwich and when I asked him about it, he refused to tell me where he purchased it.

SAMMIE

And now you’re going to destroy the future.

DARKOTH (correcting her)

All your futures!

SAMMIE

Because of a sandwich?!

DARKOTH

Darkoth does not truck with rudeness.

SAMMIE (to HECTOR)

Christ! You couldn’t just tell him where you get a damn sandwich?!

HECTOR shrugs.

SAMMIE (straining to hear)

Seriously?!

HECTOR (a touch indignant)

I like keeping my special spots secret. I don’t need to be in some long ass line filled with time traveling tourists who don’t even look at the menu until they are at the counter

DARKOTH (standing aggressively)

Darkoth is the sovereign ruler of the eras, not some mere tourist! And I am very efficient in how I order!

HECTOR (curling his lip)

Sure you do.

DARKOTH (smirking)

I always order the same, for speed. Steak and cheese. Heavy on the cheese. Mustard. LOTS.

HECTOR

Lots of mustard?

DARKOTH (smiling)

Lots and lots and lots.

WESTON (incredulous)

On a steak and cheese?

DARKOTH

You’re goddamn right.

TANISHA

That’s sick.

DARKOTH

So now you see what I’m capable of! I order my steak and cheese with lots of mustard. Like no one else. If Darkoth can do that, who knows what other acts Darkoth can commit, no?

IVAN (dismissive)

It’s just a sandwich.

DARKOTH points at him and squints. A moment later IVAN disappears in a puff of smoke.

TANISHA (terrified)

Holy shit! What did you do?

DARKOTH

I changed his timeline. Now he plays trumpet in a ska band.

HECTOR breaks towards DARKOTH while WESTON steps in the way to intercept him. DARKOTH stands, unshaken, smug.

HECTOR (howling)

You sick fuck!

SAMMIE (standing up and shoving him a bit)

How could you, you monster?!

DARKOTH (genuinely a little hurt)

I keep telling you, I am Darkoth the Unyielding and I’ve come from the past to

THE GROUP (shouting)

We get it!

DARKOTH stops speaking. People sit down where they were standing around the garage. Sobbing is heard. DARKOTH rolls his eyes and walks over to where IVAN’s guitar rests. He plays a massive solo. The group is impressed despite themselves.

DARKOTH (slowly, thoughtfully)

I’ll tell you what, members of The Frisky Franciscans, you let me play in the Battle of the Bands tonight AND Hector tells me where his sandwich place is AND someone gets me a Sasparilla? Maybe I bring back Ivan. Maybe.

TANISHA

Maybe?!

DARKOTH (shrugs)

Probably.

The group gathers together, leaving DARKOTH on the outside, murmuring to one another. Cut to the stage. The band is spread out across it, a light show flashing, fog rolling up from the parquet.

SAMMIE (in the frontwoman position, mic in hand)

We are the Frisky Franciscans and we’re here to melt your faces, and your hearts, with rock and/or roll!

DARKOTH (walks up and grabs the mic from her)

And for one night only, I am Darkoth the Unyielding on lead guitar and I am here form the past to ruin ALL your futures... with my sweet ass ax work!

He thrusts his guitar into the sky and the crowd erupts in fevered thunderous applause.